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Showing posts with label English Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English Joke. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

အလုပ္သစ္



A New Job



One day, on the way to the market, an old woman met a poorly dressed young woman, who used to work as a maid for her years ago. The young woman said to her, “I regret quitting the job from your house.”
“You moved to another job, didn’t you? Don’t you like your new place?” asked the old woman.
“No, I’m not pleased with it, “said the young woman.
“You have to take more responsibilities? Very busy?”
“It’s hell on earth.”
“I think you get a good salary.”
“Salary? I get almost nothing.”
“Unbelievable .., but you can take some leave”
“No leave”
“By the way, where are you working now?”
“Nowhere, but I got married,” replied the young woman.



အလုပ္သစ္
            တစ္ေန႕မွာ အဖြားႀကီးတစ္ေယာက္ဟာ ေဈးသြားရင္းလမ္းမွာ အဝတ္အစားခပ္ႏြမ္းႏြမ္းနဲ႔ အမ်ိဳးသမီးငယ္ တစ္ေယာက္ကို ေတြ႕တယ္. လြန္ခဲ့တဲ့ ႏွစ္အတန္ၾကာက သူမဆီမွာ အိမ္ေဖာ္လုပ္ခဲ့ဖူးတဲ့သူပါ။ အဲဒီ အမ်ိဳးသမီး ငယ္က သူမကို ေျပာတယ္။
                “ အန္တီတုိ႕အိမ္က ကၽြန္က အလုပ္ထြက္ခဲ့မိတာ ေနာင္တရမိပါတယ္ရွင္”
                “ နင္ တစ္ျခားအလုပ္သစ္တစ္ခုကို ေျပာင္းသြားတာ မဟုတ္လား၊ နင့္ေနရာသစ္ကို မႀကိဳက္လို႕လား”
                “ ဟင့္အင္း ….. ကၽြန္မ စိတ္မခ်မ္းသာပါဘူး”
                “ တာဝန္ေတြပိုမ်ားလာလို႕လား၊ အရမ္းအလုပ္မ်ားလို႕လား”
                “ အရွင္လတ္လတ္ ငရဲက်ေနသလိုပါပဲရွင္”
                “ နင္လခေတာ့ ေကာင္းေကာင္းရမွာေပါ့”
                “ လခလား၊ တစ္ျပားမွ မရသေလာက္ပါပဲ”
                “ မယံုႏိုင္စရာပဲ … ဒါေပမယ့္ ခြင့္ေလးဘာေလးေတာ့ ယူလို႕ရမွာေပါ့ “
                “ ခြင့္လည္း မရပါဘူး “
                “ ဒါနဲ႕ စကားမစပ္ နင္က အခုဘယ္မွာ လုပ္ေနလဲ”
                “ ဘယ္မွာမွမလုပ္ပါဘူး … ကၽြန္မေယာက်္ားယူလိုက္တယ္ေလ”



ကဲ ဘယ္ေလာက္နားလည္လဲ သိေအာင္ ..


Questions

1.     Whom did the old woman meet on day?
2.     What did she use to do?
3.     Does she like her new job?
4.     Is she very busy or free?
5.     How does she feel about the new place?
6.     Does she get a salary?
7.     Can she take leave?
8.     What’s the problem?
 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Coffee and a Fly

Coffee and a Fly




A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
Waiter:  Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!
He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

အရက္မူးသမား သုံးေယာက္

The three drunk guys





အရက္မူးသမား သုံးေယာက္သည္ အငွါးယဥ္တစ္စီးကုိ ငွါးစီးၾကသည္။
ယဥ္ေမာင္းက သူတုိ႔သုံးေယာက္လုံးအမူးလြန္သည္ကုိ သိ၍ တစ္ပတ္ရုိက္ဖုိ႔ႀကိဳးစားရန္ ကားစက္ကုိ ခဏတာ ႏူိး ၍ ျပန္ရပ္လုိက္ကာ " ေရာက္ပါၿပီ ခင္ဗ်ာ ဆင္းလုိ႔ရပါၿပီ" ဟုေျပာလုိက္ေလသည္။
ပထမ အမူးသမားက ကားခထုတ္ေပး၍ ဒုတိယအမူးသမားက ေက်းဇူးတင္ေၾကာင္းေျပာလုိက္၏။
သုိ႔ေသာ္ တတိယ အမူးသမားကမႈ ကားသမားအား ေနာက္မွ အားျဖင့္ရုိက္လုိက္ေလသည္။
ကားသမားခမွ်ာ သူ၏လိမ္ညာမူကုိ သိသြားၿပီထင္ေသာေၾကာင့္ အထိတ္တလန္႔ျဖစ္ကာ
'' ဘာျဖစ္လုိ႔ ရုိက္တာလဲဗ်" ဟုေၾကာက္ေၾကာက္ျဖင့္ေမးလုိက္၏။
တတိယ အမူးသမားက ...ျပန္ေျပာလုိက္ပုံမွာ...
'' အုိ ဘာဟုတ္ရမွာလဲ ...ခင္ဗ်ား ကားေမာင္းတာဆင္ျခင္ဖုိ႔ေပါ့ဗ်ာ...
  ခုခင္ဗ်ား ေမာင္းပုံက က်ဴပ္တုိ႔ ျဖင့္ အရွိန္ျမန္လြန္းလုိ႔ အားလုံးေသကုန္ၿပီလုိ႔ တြက္ထားတာ" ဟုျပန္ေျပာလုိက္ေလသတည္း။   ။


Three drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"



Mr. Bean Jokes

Mr. Bean Jokes

1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain! 



2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!! 



3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
 
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!



4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!



5) MARRIAGE:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.



6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.



7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
 

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.



9) SPELLING LESSON:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure! 


                                                                          Shar Thu@ Pyramid

Monday, September 1, 2014

အျပင္သြားျခင္း






Going out
(While husband and wife are stepping out of the house, they hear ‘Meow’.)
Wife             : Look, the cat shoots back in. Go back inside to chase it out.
(The husband goes back inside.)
(The wife is thinking: Hum… I don’t want the taxi driver known that the house will be empty…)
Wife             : He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.
(Then the husband comes back.)
Husband        : Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with A coat hanger to get her to come out!
(The wife is thinking: Ohhh. God… And now what the driver may be thinking!?)

အျပင္သြားျခင္း
(လင္မယားႏွစ္ေယာက္ အိမ္အျပင္ေရာက္ခိုက္’ ေညာင’္ ဆိုတဲ့ ေၾကာင္ေအာ္သံ ၾကားရတယ္။)
ဇနီး              ။ ေဟာ၊ ေၾကာင္ ဝင္သြားျပန္ၿပီ။ အိမ္ထဲ ျပန္ဝင္သြားၿပီး ေမာင္းထုတ္ပစ္လိုက္စမ္းပါ။
(ေယာက်္ားျဖစ္သူ အိမ္ထဲ ျပန္ဝင္သြားတယ္။)
(မိန္းမျဖစ္သူက ေတြးေနတယ္ “အင္း… ငါတို႕ အျပင္သြားရင္ အိမ္ထဲမွာ ဘယ္သူမွ ရွိမွာမဟုတ္ဘူးဆိုတာကို တကၠစီဒ႐ိုင္ဘာ မသိေစခ်င္ဘူး။”)
ဇနီး              ။ ကၽြန္မ ေယာက်္ား အိမ္အေပၚထပ္ တက္ၿပီး ကၽြန္မအေမကို သြားႏႈတ္ဆက္ေနတယ္။
(အဲဒီေနာက္ ေယာက်္ားျဖစ္သူ ျပန္ေရာက္လာတယ္။)
ေယာက်္ား။      ။ ေဆာရီးပဲေဟ့၊ အေတာ္ၾကာသြားတယ္ကြာ။ ေသာက္သံုးမက်တဲ့ ေကာင္မက ခုတင္ေအာက္ ဝင္ပုန္းေနတာနဲ႕ ကုတ္အက်ႌခ်ိတ္နဲ႔ ထိုးၿပီးႏွင္ထုတ္လိုက္ရတယ္ကြ။
(မိန္းမျဖစ္သူ အေတြးက “ အမယ္ေလး ဘုရားေရ … ကားဒ႐ိုင္ဘာ ဘယ္လိုမ်ား ထင္ေနမလဲ မသိဘူး။”